Vapor Zone

Technical Issues

2011-09-30T02:08:00.000-04:00

It would appear that some of my videos are not loading. I have a feeling it has to do with Blogger, so I will be trying to swap them out for the actual youtube video this weekend.

Also, if you would like me to pray for you, feel free to e-mail me with your requests and I will do so with my nightly e-mail checks. The address is crosssketch@gmail.com.

Hoping to have another post up this weekend, until then - God Bless you all, and thanks for the prayers!

Signature of the Divine (YHWH)

2011-09-01T11:07:00.000-04:00

This is just the video to a song that has always spoken strongly to me. Maybe it will do the same to you!

NeedtoBreathe Signature of Divine

Follow up to Thoughtful Consideration

2011-08-30T08:48:00.000-04:00

2 years in the making. The original post was in November of 2009. You can check it out.

Update for August

2011-08-29T01:05:00.000-04:00

Here is just a quick update as to whats going on with Vaporzone in the coming weeks. I am hoping to do a complete overhaul soon. This is just step 1.

Short Easter Update

2011-04-24T23:59:00.000-04:00

It's Easter Sunday, and while I sit at my table in my kitchen, scribbling this blog on paper, I am distracted by the 1973 movie "Jesus Christ Superstar". Why? Because I try to experience Jesus in different ways all the time, hopefully this movie will allow me one.

But onto the main point(s) of this blog. Today is Easter Sunday. For two days I have allowed myself to mourn (which is a lot harder than it seems since my bday was on the 23rd). Why? Because I wanted to understand the sacrifice of the Lamb. This is a yearly thing for me. I watch "Passion of the Christ" on Friday, "The Ten Commandments" on Saturday and then listen to a lot of uplifting music on Sunday.

Why mourn? Because my Jesus died and was buried. I lost my friend. I honor the loss of Him, but Sunday is a new day. It is the third day. And as so many of us have proclaimed today "HE IS RISEN!" Today is the anniversary of the day He defeated Hell and death. The full payment for our sins was paid. And just as Jesus the Christ had life again, so too do we have that promise in Him.

(BTW, I've turned off that movie because I can't stand it)/

This entire weekend has been a process for me. I treat Jesus like the brother He called me. I mourn His death, celebrate His resurrection and thank Him for the gift He has given me.

So next year, my brothers and sisters, wont you join us?

2011-02-26T00:28:00.000-05:00

I posted on Facebook about how God was compelling me to write this blog tonight. He's given me a drive to do it, and to finish it. I might be up all night writing this blog, but I am positive He will give me the strength tomorrow (and Sunday since I am going to be at church from 730 am -130 pm and then work till 1030pm). This blog is going to pertain to me. Something I am going through or have gone through (not sure yet, because I haven't begun writing it). But more importantly, it's for one of you. One of those that is going to read this. Yahweh has expressed that this isn't FOR me, but FOR you. So when you read this, keep that in mind.

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Many of us have times that we struggle with life and with our faith. For many of us, that time begins when we become new Christians. We are still struggling with overcoming our past. Some of us are overcoming drugs, alcohol or a free sex drive. We feel short of Christ. We have troubles connecting with our God.

"But, how do you feel that way? He came to earth as a man to die for your sins!"

My un-spoken response to that? "Have you met Him, physically? Have you touched His wounds? Hugged His body? Cried on His shoulder? I haven't!"

I still haven't. I can feel His presence. Feel the Holy Spirit guide me and communicate with me, but it's always been something I've struggled with in my faith. I can't put a face to the name. I know Him. Trust me, I know Him - now. But when I first started my walk, I couldn't bridge it. I had trouble putting my faith in someone I had never physically met. Why? Because I am a very physical person.

For instance, if I meet you at a restaurant (like I met a few people last week from church) and I had never seen you before, I now remember your face. Or like a woman I saw. I hadn't seen her in over 6 years, but I saw her face and instantly knew who she was.

I don't get to do that with Jesus, with Yahweh or the Holy Spirit. Since my walk began that short 2 years ago, I have found a new way to spend time with God. In a previous post I commented on how I explained to an atheist friend how I knew God existed. I will say it again: "That feeling of the hair running up your back. The one you can't control? The light filling your soul? That's God. I can't do that myself, and I only feel that when I let Him in."

That's how I commune with Yahweh. He guides me. He leads. When I open myself to Him (which I will admit, and explain more about shortly, is hard to do) I can feel His guidance. I can pray, and know what He is telling me. I've learned to hear what He is saying. Something that comes with time.

"Jay, how do you find it hard to open yourself up to God?"

Easy. I built a wall up for 20 years before I met Christ. I knew of Him. Went to church, built a wall up so that I wouldn't have to see, hear or feel him. I'm not proud of it, but its something I did. When I first came to Christ, while I had a drive to get to know Him better, because I was physical, I built that wall up when I was still having sex. I spent so much time building up that wall, that sometimes I still shove it up without realizing it.

That's where being a new creation in Christ comes in. Its not a wall anymore, but a door. The great thing about it being a door? I gave God the key! When I try to shut Him out, He unlocks the door and in remembrance of those great V8 commercials, slaps me on the forehead.

My decisions are pulling me closer to Him, but I still notice from time to time, that I've closed that door. I don't know if I feel like I can do it on my own or what, but I do it. And when I feel at my lowest point and have no idea where to go, I get those goose-bumps. I look up, the door is open, and my Father is sitting on the floor next to me, pulling my head to His lap to talk to me.

Even as I write this, that feeling is pulsing through me. He is working through my hands, telling me what to write. Showing me His love, and His dependability.

Now, to the starting of why I wanted to write this blog tonight. I've been single for a couple of months now (as my last blog showed). I tried to start dating, but it never worked out. I met a couple of women that I knew instantly that God had placed in my life for a reason. I didn't know what it was, but I prayed for God to reveal it in His time (ok, being honest, I wanted an answer right then, but I could feel Him telling me no).

I've gone on a date or two with other women, and had Yahweh telling me, and by telling me I mean screaming in my ear, "NO! Remember your last relationship? This one will be like that!" So I moved on.

Tonight I was talking to God. I had a slow period at work, noticed I had closed that proverbial door, and opened it to let my Father talk to me clearly. I repented for some sins I had been struggling with (cursing, anger, dis-respect), and asked Him to just talk to me. And He did. He answered my prayers about those women. Think I am crazy all you want, but God spoke to me tonight and this is what He said:
"Justin. Those women I placed your heart on? They're examples. Examples of the kind of woman you need to look for. Women who fear and respect me. Ones that will challenge you to better yourself in my name. One that will eventually be your wife. You're making lots of improvements, my child. I wanted you to know I am here. I love you. I have a path for you, that will one day become clear. Right now, I just need you to keep walking with me. I know it will be hard, but take my hand, and I will give you strength."

He says this to all of us. He's saying it to you right now. Take our Father's hand. Reach out and do it! Join me on this walk. I know I am not strong enough to do this on my own! I've tried, I fail. He picks me up though! Gives me His robe and keeps us going. Its a long walk, but we aren't doing it alone. I want you to take God's hand. Why? Because that way I can see how He heals you, and it will give me strength in His glory. And so when you see how He helps me, you know He is and will do the same for you!

Give God the key to your door.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

2011-01-25T01:10:00.001-05:00

A new post by me has been long coming, and I am sorry that it has been so.

I told you weeks ago that I would be posting about the prophecies of Jesus fulfilling the role of Christ. I still intend to do that, but not now, not soon.

Today I post about other things. I have been single now, for about a month. The break up was simple.

I was working too much for her, and not giving her enough of my time. A valid reason. Our relationship ended just before 8 years. I was upset and cried....for about an hour. At which time I dropped to my knees and prayed, "God, I've given you my life before this. I prayed for an answer about this relationship and this is how you answered it. I respect that. It was the only part of my life that I was trying to keep control of. It's not mine anymore, so I vow that from now on, you have full control of everything in my life."

The last month has been nothing but blessing upon blessing. Yahweh has given me peace I can't take credit for myself. He has shown me love from a church family that I never fully experienced. He's allowed me to move closer to Him, and allowed me to fully put Him on. I am now a new creation in Him. Family have noticed it, friends, and church members.

I had spent the last two years since coming to Christ, living for Him. But I wasn't living in Him. That didn't happen till last month. For two years God was pushing, telling me "She doesn't know she's my child. She doesn't WANT to be my child. You can't be happy with someone that doesn't want what you want....ME!" So after two years He finally said enough is enough, and took charge to end it.

I got home from work tonight and called the ex. Her belongings are still in my spare room (she didn't live with me, but used my apartment as a storage unit.) I asked her to have her stuff out by the end of the month. The conversation turned and she mentioned how she is dating again, and sleeping around. This isn't my life, but after spending almost 8 years with someone, it was a blow to know that you are so easily replaced.

I became angry, sad...then I cried. But once again, it was only minutes. I talked to a few friends and realized where I needed to be. I needed to be with God. I need Him. So I fell to my couch and began praying for calm, peace and love. Most of all, forgiveness. I wanted to forgive her the way He has forgiven me. I put some Needtobreathe on (a band that is quickly becoming my favorite) and got to their song entitled "Lay Em Down". And I did. I gave Yahweh all my problems, and He answered. I am calm and full of love. And already I have forgiven her for what she has done. I have realized, she isn't doing this just to me, but to God and he feels betrayed just like I do. But the second she asks for His forgiveness, He will give it, just like he did to me.

God is my rock, my strong place. The closer I get to him, the more I need Him, the more I crave His presence in my life. I pray to my Lord and Savior that you all experience this. He has broken me twice in one month just to show me how well He can fix me.

I pray Christ's love for you all. Don't be containers of His love, but nozzles. Let His love enter you, fuel you but ultimately run THROUGH you to touch those around you!

May He bless you as He has been doing so to me!

Update For December 2010

2010-12-29T22:43:00.001-05:00

Greetings! I hope your Christmas was well? You spent time with the ones you love? You remembered the true reason for the season? I hope so!

Why? Because in a few weeks I will be posting the first part in a series of blogs involving Christ Jesus. I've been busy starting this series, and need to finish it and work some things out before I post it. But it will involve many parts of Jesus. The prophecies of the coming of Christ and how Jesus fulfilled them. The life and teachings of Jesus. And finishing with some information on His next coming (not too much on this one, because I am no scholar and do not claim to know much on how He will come).

This series is something that I have felt a weight on my heart about for a while. Something that I feel Yahweh is calling me to study into and to share with others. I am not sure how long this series will be, and it is still a couple of weeks away from being posted, but I am sure you will enjoy it when I do finally post it.

Until then, brothers and sisters, may Yahweh bless you, and Jesus guide you!
Justin

Update

2010-10-24T00:17:00.000-04:00

I know it's been months since I've posted anything... and for that, I apologize. I've been going through a bit of a season, where I've been struggling with certain things, not to mention I just had my first day off in 3 months (that's right, 7 days a week for 3 months).

I will be working on some things over the next week, week and a half, and am hoping to have at least something small up for you all.

Once again, thank you for your patience, and please excuse my absence.

God Bless you and Keep you!

Know Him

2010-05-16T22:15:00.001-04:00

ow we need the spirit in our lives. How Christ is the foundation of what we need. And why?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TE4n7dVRJl0

I will confess the sermon by my pastor this Sunday is what drove me to write this up. Consider this a bit of a follow up to the blog titled Community. I would advise you to read it, but the basic premise of it is how even with Christ, and the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, we still need that community with other brothers and sisters to get the full grasp of what relationship with Christ is.

Now, community is extremely important for us as Christians, but we need to keep our focus on our relationship with Christ, and understanding (or rather the attempt at understanding) the workings of the Holy Spirit in us. Without a focus on these, our attempts are for naught.

We are doing a series at Westwinds discussing Ezekiel 37. More specifically the Valley of Dry Bones vision. (If you haven't read this, worry not, I will post it at the end of this blog). But John opened this up in a new light for me....but before that, let me explain something about me:

There are some things in life that just click for me. I hear them, I see them and I just know (like computers). Then there are some things, like reading between the lines, that just need to be explained to me (Do you know how many women hate this about me? LOL). The vision of the valley of the dry bones, is one of those things.

Anyways – so John was explaining this to us this morning, about Christ IS the resurrection. OK, I get that. What next? Well, this vision can be seen as Christ giving new life into our lives ALL THE TIME. John worded it something like this:

We all go through rough spots in our lives, I want you to view this as the valley. We feel dry, exiled, forgotten or angered. Then God starts working on us. He puts the bones back together, puts tendons and muscles and flesh back on us. He puts the skin on us, essentially protecting us. Finally, he blows the breath of life back in us. Now this process doesn't happen as fast as we like sometimes, but it is something that He does for all of us. You've all felt it. You weren't so on fire for God. Kinda dying down, then – WHAM! He grabbed you and put that fire back in your heart.

Now, I wrote that first part before I left for work, and now I can't remember where I was heading with it, so I am going to jump to why Christ is so important.

Besides the fact that without Him, without His sacrifice we would all be damned – there is a lot more to how Christ should be important to us. Not only did He clean the sin away from us, but the gospels tell us that He gives us things. He sent a gift to us (the Holy Spirit), which intern gave us gifts. I haven't touched on this much before in my blog, but I do believe in spiritual gifts. I know they exist, I've seen them in work. Don't believe me? Spend five minutes talking with John. That man has got some gifts!

But I digress. Look at some of the verses that tell us about these gifts! Philippians 4:13 “For all things are possible with Christ, who gives me strength.” ALL THINGS! Not just a couple, or one a day, but ALL THINGS are possible, because Christ GIVES us strength. When He died, He did so for a multitude of reasons. One of the effects is that we can call on His strength whenever we need to, and He will freely give it to us. Don't believe me? Ask the single mother who didn't know how to connect with her child and found a way. Ask the husband that was struggling with a porn addiction but overcame it. Ask the teenager who was depressed and ready to commit suicide but put the knife down. If you've found Christ, He will give you His strength whenever you need it. I will post a video in a moment. The song will be from Lifehouse, but I want you to pay close attention to the video itself. It isn't the actual video for the song, but a video that a church put together.

(I would advise going to YOUTUBE to view this, as my blog cuts off a side of it.)

Did you see that? Did you see how all of life's sins got between the girl and Christ? Did you see how towards the end, she gave herself over to Jesus, and began to fight to get to Him? What happened next? She couldn't do it alone, so Jesus stepped in. He gave His strength to fight her sin. Then He overcame it.

How great is that? Jesus does that for us! Everyday! He doesn't tell us He is too busy. He doesn't say “Pfft, you got yourself there, get yourself out!” No, He jumps in and helps! Remember what happened next in the video? He put His coat on the girl. He covered Her with HIS grace!

Community is fantastic, a need to help our walk with Yahweh. But our relationship with Christ is something more deep. I have friends in my church. I turn to my pastors for advice, but there are even some things that I feel foolish for talking to them about. Not so with God. I ask Him everything! I had a hard day at work because someone was rude? Who cares, it was one person? GOD CARES! When I am hurting, when I am upset, angry, confused – God steps in and “puts his coat” over me. Comforts me as a friend, advises me as a father, holds me and cries with me.

While your relationship with Christ is effected on your relationship with community, realize that no relationship is more personal or substantial than your relationship with Jesus. His ears are always open. He's sitting on the couch waiting for you to sit next to Him. Silently listening for you to whisper to Him. He wants that relationship with you. He knows you, everything about you. Knew it before you were born. Now He wants you to know Him.

You're His friend.

Let Him be yours!

God Bless you friends! I hope this week finds you all well!

P.S. - As a prayer request. I have friends in my church that are trying to save money to go to Africa for two years. They feel like God has called them for a long term missions trip. Please prayer for them that God will provide for them, and protect them!

Update

2010-05-16T11:37:00.001-04:00

Wow! Boy was church intense this morning! I could feel the ways the Holy Spirit are opening me up to receive Christ in new and exciting cicrumstances!

I was drawn to write a new blog, a follow up if you will, of Community. I started writing it now, but I have to leave for work soon, and PRAYING Yahweh will help fill my mind with the rest of the details I need to finish it tonight.

Pray that He holds my hand and leads me down this path He has set before me! (And while your at it, why dont you pray that I actually finish this blog on time (; )

May our Heavenly Fathe bless you today and all days! And may His path for you always be shown.

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I would like to take a second to direct you to my good friend's blog. Read it while you are waiting for me to get mine done!

http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/2010/05/strictly-defined.html

Thoughts on bendable Christians

2010-05-03T20:34:00.000-04:00

I know that there is a better term available than "bendable Christians" but it eludes me presently.

The other day I was talking to a co-worker that is a self proclaimed Christian. We carry on conversations regularly about the Gospels and what I learn at church (primarily because said person works during service times). We began talking about homosexuality. The entire conversation was light hearted, even though it covered many heavy topics. But when we reached this topic said person exploded with rage.

Not against homosexuality. I expressed that I was against it. I am still wondering whether or not it is something that is mentally determined without consent (after all, I am attracted to women, and could never be attracted to men. It may be possible, that with all of the inherited sin, that some people are automatically attracted to the same sex). The explosion was directed at me for being a bigot (which I still must look up the definition for). She was furious at the body of Christ for being against homosexuality (even tho she herself is not gay), and claims that the bible was written by egotistical men.

I have a problem with this. I personally believe (as a Christian) that the bible is the written word of God, fully inspired by the Father and delivered by the Holy Spirit to the writers. She admitted that it was inspired by God, but claims that He let the writers change things to fit their personal agenda.

This deeply offended me, and it hurt me to think that she believes this. She believes that God doesn't care if you are gay, as long as you stick with one spouse. That He allows you to do things that the bible CLEARLY lists as wrong, not because He will forgive it, but because the writers threw it in the bible and not Him.

I have quite a few readers for my blog, and this topic is now being passed to you. I need help. I feel it is my duty as a Christian to help lead this co worker to the right path and to (in a positive and sensitive way) show her the errors of her ways. But I have no idea on where to begin with this.

Please, take some time to think about this and get back to me on ways to address this situation.

Community

2010-05-03T20:12:00.000-04:00

We hear about people struggling in their faith on a dailt basis, yet it often doesn't mean anything to us. Which is shocking, since every single person has had some form or another of a struggle in their relationship with God.

About a month ago, I took a hiatus from volunteering at Westwinds (my home church). "Why?" you may ask... because I felt like I was spending more time focusing on the actions of volunteering, than I was on the message. More so, I was feeling as if I was only going to church to fill that look. I decided it was time to take a break from volunteering. Unfortunately, it required drastic happenings. I e-mailed the church immediately and told them I wouldn't be helping for awhile. Phase 1 was complete.

Phase 2 involved something more. I didn't want to blind myself with all the happenings and desire to volunteer again. I knew that I had to take some time away, to focus on the most important of things - my relationship with Christ. So I stopped attending church. I watched the services online, and followed along in my bible, considering it a chance to spend some personal time with Yahweh.

But during this time period, things went askew. Three weeks in and I wasn't watching the services any longer. I was swearing a lot more, and being very worldly in my mannerisms.

Two things happened during this break, that drove me back. One, my pastor asked my sister where I had been, and she in turn began to question me. Two, I felt a longing, a loss of something deep and I knew what it was - God.

I studied my bible, I prayed, I begged for forgiveness. I went to church on Sunday, and it was amazing. I felt closer to God than I had in a long time, and I felt close to people.

I realized why we are told to seek community with other believers, and why it is such an integral part of a relationship. Not only do I go to church to spend time with people, but I go to spend time more deeply with Christ. After all, he did say "20.For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."(Matthew 18:20) I understood Sunday, this on a new level. My relationship with God is dependant on being with other people that are brought together in the name of Jesus Christ.

Why? Because, I experience a new level of a relationship under these circumstances. For me, it's like this: Jesus is my venting buddy. He's there, I know He is. He listens, and sometimes He answers me in way that are extremely obvious. Sometimes He answers me with His silence. But when I talk to others about Him, He's there with me. As a friend. No longer just the buddy who let's me vent, but someone who stands beside me and laughs at jokes with me. Laughs at the stupid things I do, or pats me on the back for my return.

John, called me a "putz" on Sunday. (He is one of my pastors). He told me he asked my sister "where has that putz of a brother been lately?" On a new level, it was Jesus saying this. I can see the workings. Using John as a puppet or sorts. The underside of the conversation, went something like this (in my head)

Jesus: Erica, Jay isn't listening to me. I've been talking, but he keeps stickin his fingers in his ears and going 'lalala'. I need you to ask that putz when he is going to wisen up and come back to me."

This is the Jesus I know and love. The one that I can only fully experience when I take community with other believers. One that I believe no one fully experiences without community. Which is why it saddens me when people I know and love, think that they don't need to do so. Sure, they know Jesus. They love Jesus, and know He loves them. But they dont know Him like I do, and part of me wonders if they ever will.

So next time you are in church, or out to eat at a church picnic, look over at Jesus and smile as He sings praises to the Father or digs into those bbq wings. He wants you to see Him.

Upcoming

2010-02-07T12:07:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to shoot out to everyone, and let you know that my next few blogs will be more or less, book reviews.

I have been reading a couple of interesting books, and as I finish them up, I would like to share them with you.

First up will be The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Vaporzone

2010-01-28T19:04:00.000-05:00

My e-mail has been flooded with people asking me "Why haven't you updated lately? Is everything okay?"

For the last few weeks, I have walked a dark path. Life has been throwing it's curve balls at me, and it is during these times that we see the person that we really are. This post will be addressing both what I learned during my fast, and what has been happening since then.

THE FAST

My fast showed me many things. It didn't last as long as I was planning, although I should have made it last that long. I spent time reading over Matthew, and diving into the Psalms of Accent. This showed me plenty, but it also drove me to read over James again, which caused me to memorize those wonderful verses about taming our tongues:

James 3:1-12 (ESV)

1.
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.

2.
For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

3.
If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.

4.
Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.

5.
So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!

6.
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

7.
For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,

8.
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9.
With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.

10.
From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

11.
Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?

12.
Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

~~~~

I had to look carefully at the words that come out of my mouth, which is what most of my fasting involved. The Lord showed me a lot of things that are between Him and myself, I shall not share these. But it was very comforting for to be swallowed up in His presence that entire time.

Now, onto the delay in my posting. I am still working on finding a better way to speak to people. My father and I have always had our differences, mainly because we think alike, and act alike. He denies this, but anyone who knows us, knows that this is the truth.

I didn't like what I saw in the fast, and I pushed away from God. Like I said, I was faced with my true self, and it wasn't what I wanted to see. I didn't see anything that should have been in presence with my Lord.

My tongue grew wild again, even though I tried to tame it. But I learned recently that I can't tame it on my own, I require HIS help. It his me hard today. I have been working on it harder, but it has been difficult, just letting myself fall back that shortly, makes it feel like I am at the beginning of my path. As I type this, I realize, it should always feel that way. I should always see an endless path ahead of me, which Christ standing beside me, helping me to carry the cross.

Why did this hit so hard, and why did I mention my father? 3 days ago, I was talking with my mother about something, and my dad jumped in, pointing the blame at me. I asked him to stop, because it was making me mad, and he continued, now complaining that he always makes me mad, and I need to get over it. I walked away, and my mother asked where I was going,

"Home, I need to punch my punching bag, because I want to hit him right now."

I've never felt the urge to hit my dad, like I did that night. Since then, he hasn't talked to me, or looked at me. Tonight I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie I rented and he ripped into me again, talking on how he didn't want to speak to me again.

So, as of now, I don't have a speaking relationship with my dad. It hurts. He's always been the one I go to for honest advice, and now he refuses to talk to me. I apologized for the arguement, but he doesn't care at the moment. So I live the day, prayer to my Father above, and asking for HIS forgiveness, and knowing that HE will give it, but still wishing for the forgiveness from my earthly father.

Time will show how it will end, we will see. Hopefully he will forgive me before I live for the Army.

Fasting

2010-01-13T01:41:00.000-05:00

In a few moments, I am going to begin a fast. I will turn off my computer, my tv and everything except the radio. I will be unreachable via the internet for the next 48 hours. I am taking this chance to grow closer to Jesus. I will be reading my bible extensively, and spending much time in prayer.

Thursday, will be a day that I add eating to my fast. A way to let go of all walls between me and the Lord. Friday, when I awake, hopefully I will have some interesting new thoughts to add to my blog. If not, I will at least begin writing a new one to post some time in the near future.

Please, friends, pray for me and for this fast. Pray that Yahweh will show me more of Him, and that I will be open to receiving it.

I hope that God blesses you and keeps you all in His light!

January Update

2010-01-10T12:33:00.000-05:00

A lot of things are going on this month for me. Hours have been cut back at work, so I am dealing with the smaller paychecks. Christ is working more fervently and clearly in me than ever before, and I am riding His coat tails where ever He leads.

I am hoping to start posting on a more regular basis. This means I will be typing a few posts up at once, and setting release dates on them, so we don't have to wait for me to remember to post them.

Thoughtful Considerations is taking longer than I planned. Why? Because I am putting a lot of work into it. When I post it, I will not be discussing my thoughts any longer. Anyone who wishes to know my views, will be directed to the blog. (Mainly because after so long, the conversation becomes a circle of repeated information.)

Hope you all enjoy this coming year with me, and let's keep in touch!

Remembering

2010-01-10T12:25:00.000-05:00

Today in church we wrapped up our series entitled "Down to Earth". It was about the incarnation of Christ. Incarnation - the word means God in flesh. And that is exactly who Christ is, God - in - flesh! Stop for a moment. Don't keep reading, I want you to sit and think on that for a moment.

A man. Alive for 33 years. Yet God. Fully Human, yet fully divine. I can't even fully wrap my mind around that. The leader of our youth ministries, Lori, mentioned today that she could always understand Jesus being God. To her that was easy. To me, nothing about it is easy. How do you fit all of what is God into the body of a mere mortal man? Then to think of Him as completely human on top of that? I mean, WHOA let's slow down a second here. How... how does that work? Then I remember this verse:

Isaiah 55 (New International Version)
8. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

How true is this? It brings me back to understanding that my faith, is just that - FAITH. I have faith in what the Lord tells me.

But why is it so important that we understand who and what Christ is?

Because it is the basis for all that we believe as Christians.

Now, think of how crucial it was for Christ to be man and God. Take out a part and see how it fits:

Christ wasn't man, only God. Okay, if this was the case, then the crucifixion meant nothing. He wasn't in our place, He didn't walk in our shoes, He was never really tempted and it was a hollow gift to us.

How about this one. Christ was fully man, without any divinity. Very simple... who was saved then? If He was man, then He was with sin. And He wouldn't have been able to offer us salvation.

But He was BOTH. Being fully man, He walked in our shoes. He was tempted, repeatedly. But because of His divinity, He overcame it. And because of His divinity, He was able to give a sacrifice, a gift, to us. Only because He was both fully man and fully God was He able to give us salvation.

Dave has repeated this to us every week, at least once, but usually many...MANY times a service. It helps me with seeing this, "The Creator, became the created, to save creation." Let that sink in.

If you take either of these parts away, you don't have a good understanding of all that is the trinity. My mother is a Jehovah's Witness. I asked her this question once, and she stopped talking after I gave her my answer. Here is the conversation:

"Mom, what is the greatest love God has given to us?"
"He sent His son to die for us."

"OK, well according to the bible, there is no greater love, than to lay down your life for a friend."
"And?"

"Well, your God didn't do that. You think that Christ is Michael the Arch Angel, and God is...God. But my God, being both Jesus and Yahweh, sacrificed Himself as an act of love towards me."

The conversation ended.

Think on this:

Philippians 2:5-11 (NIV)
5. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6. Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7. but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--
9. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,
10. that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11. and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5-11 (ESV)
5. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
6. who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
7. but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men.
8. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
9. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name,
10. so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11. and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5-11 (NKJV)
5. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
6. who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God,
7. but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.
8. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
9. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name,
10. that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth,
11. and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

That is some heavy stuff to think about.

Next up to talk during our service, Rick. A newer member of the church, and incharge of helping new members get familiar, and all member who wish, a place to serve.

Rick talked about how we have a relationship with God. But in our relationship, we need to understand, GOD is the pursuer. Every time we think that we are the ones running to Him, we need to look and see that it is He who is running to US.

Mike (Follow the Leader) posted a blog yesterday. A part of it stated that while at work, he was overpowered with the presence of God. He wept, he sung and talked to our Lord. Mike could feel Him. It brought a tear to my eye.

Why? Because I had a VERY similar experience yesterday. I was compounded with the pressure of the Holy Spirit yesterday. It weighed down on me. I sat down to type about this experience more than anything else. And as I sat down, and tuned my iTunes to the Christian radio station, "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North began to play. It was a "Gibbs Slap" that God was here, with me. That He was with me yesterday. That He is pursuing me.

Mike posted this on his blog, so I am going to post it here too. It pressed on me while I was reading, for the same reasons it did for him:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart(Jer 1:5). For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you(Jer 29:11). For I knit you together in your mother's womb... you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). All the days ordained for you were written in my book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness (Jer 31:3)."

Now, I am sure you are eager to know what experience I had at work? No? Well too bad, lol.
I had felt the Holy Spirit pressing on me all day. I knew, and I mean I KNEW God was pushing to use me yesterday. I didn't know how, but I was preparing myself for it. The day progressed and about an hour and a half before I left (I work at a grocery store) a lady came up to another register, trying to use her WIC card. For those of you who don't know, WIC is a government assistance program for women who have trouble buying foods for their young children.

Well, this lady had lost her card, reported it as so. Found it and tried to use it. She didn't realize, however, that when you report it lost, the government cancels the card. So she couldn't buy all that she needed. Her mother, her and her son walked away and began putting stuff back. Right before I was about to leave, they came to my lane with a few fruits, some jars of baby food, and one can of baby formula. All they could afford. I looked at them and then the food and KNEW. There was no questioning. I could almost hear Him speaking out loud "This is what I prepared you for. This is what you are to do."

I rang them out, and when they weren't looking, I placed another can of formula in the bag. For those of you who know, a can of formula doesn't last long and a small one, costs about 15 dollars. I bagged their items and told them to have a nice night. My replacement came up behind me, took over and I had her scan the formula so I could pay for it. My boss came up and tried to make a big deal about it, but I quickly pulled her back and said "I don't deserve thanks. If they come back in, tell them it was paid for. Don't tell them my name, and tell them it was a gift."

I didn't deserve thanks. I didn't deserve anything. I didn't do it to make myself look better. I did it for that child, and I did it for God. Glory be to God the Father!

Today during the service, almost as if another message from God (which I believe it was) Dave mentioned that when we pass a hungry person, and we hear God saying to help, we should. It was almost like I could feel God saying proud comments to me. Not that I was becoming proud, but that He was proud of me. And quickly I bowed my head and prayed, "Lord, what I do I do for you, nothing for me. I give myself to all that you are, in hopes of pleasing you. Thank for you the chance to do so."

We need to be open to hearing God speak to us. I have begun to understand and recognize His voice more and more lately. I hear Him when I start getting rude "Child, calm down. This isn't my way." I hear Him when I walk through an empty building, "Even here, alone, I am still with you. I still love you." When I hug my nephews, "The love you feel for them, I love you more!" It blows my mind. I didn't even feel it slowly creaping up on me. Just all of a sudden, BAM! there He was. It was like I finally let that wall down and He jumped in at full speed.

I see my sins in a new light. They hurt me now. Before I never fully understood it. I was sorry for them, I felt guilt over them. Now though, now when I sin, I feel pain, and sorrow. I feel guilt and regret. I pray to my Father up above asking His forgiveness. Apologizing for showing ungratefullness towards His sacrifice.

Praise be to God, for all good things come from Him. Remember His sacrifice. Remember His incarnation. Remember. I will take a page out of Mike's book and leave you with a couple of videos.

New Years Contemplation

2010-01-01T03:59:00.000-05:00

I am still working on the second part to the follow up of Thoughtful Considerations. My opinion is changing daily, which is why it hasn't been released yet.

Many things happen during the New Year's Eve. People drink, Friends see eachother again for the first time in a long time and usually good things. But bad things can happen too. It is one of the highest drunk driving accident ratios of the year, if not the worst.

But this post is not about those things . . . well, not exactly anyways. I would rather take you through my usual New Year's Eve . . .

For the past 6 years, I am usually drunk every New Year's Eve. Why? It was the thing to do, it relaxed me, made things fun. I haven't been saved long, in the course of my life. Roughly a year now. Before I was saved by Christ, I was a fornicating drunkard that didn't care about anyone but me.

I used to get drunk all the time. I used to do drugs. It was the life-style that I lived in, and I am still ashamed of it to this day. I understand that Christ has cleansed me, but I still occassionally feel the taint from that sinful past. I think that maybe it is a good thing that I feel that.

I bought a whole bunch of alcohol today, planning on bringing in the New Year, with a severely drunk bang. But I sat down with my first Jack n Coke, and it hit me "I don't need this!" Not only that, but I didn't want it!

I finished my drink and sat down with my bible. I didn't really even read it. I should have, but I didn't have the need tonight. I read it this morning before work, but tonight I felt like I just needed to sit silently before God, and think on Him. I thought about all the alcohol in my fridge. I thought about the last six New Year's Eves. And that taint, that dark sin washed over me. I felt disgusted with that way of life.

I knew it wasn't who I am now, and I had no desire to go back to it.

So I've made a decision this year. A resolution if you will. After I finish the alcohol in my fridge (slowly, and in moderation of course), which will likely take over a month, I will be done drinking alcohol for the rest of the year.

I don't see the silver lining enough. I've made it my goal to give every person I see every day, a compliment. My mother, father, sister, friends and co workers. My goal is to get so focused on the positive that I begin to see God more through it. I believe it will help on those occassions I am feeling down. Not to mention, everyone deserves a compliment!

So take some time early on in this new year, and sit with God. Look yourself over and make some resolutions. Not to yourself, but to Him.

God Bless All!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T16:19:00.001-05:00

We often spend this time of year thinking about Christ being born to the world.

Last night, my pastor said this:
"Christ was born in Bethlehem, so that He might be born within us."

It's a great thing. Today, just now, something compelled me to write this. This time of season is hard for many. I was actually thinking about a person in particular when this came upon me, but I realize how many people it could relate to.

So read it over, and enjoy. Feel free to comment.

The light of God shines down upon us,
but because of our fear we still remain blindly in the dark.
He stands beside us,
but because of our walls, we cannot feel His hand upon our shoulder.
He cries at our side,
but because of self we can not hear His sobs.
He bleeds before us,
but because of anger we will not let Him wash us clean.

In all of this, Christ stands with us.
We need only open our eyes to see Him.
His presence never falters,
As long as we leave the door open.
A friend to constantly listen,
as long as we speak.
An arm to hold,
as long as we hold Him.
A love beyond others,
as long as we are willing to love too.

Be still, and know He is God.
Be still, and know He is here.

Update 11/20/2009

2009-11-20T19:09:00.000-05:00

I told some friends that I would update my blog, but this is going to be as good as it gets for a short time.

Monday, right before I left for work, my mom tells me that my best friend since I was about 12, lost her two year old daughter to cancer over the weekend. I went to work, talked only as much as I needed to to do my job, and came home to sit in the dark. I skipped my church group for the night, I skipped church on Wednesday. I was trying to hold myself together as much as I could.

You see, this friend started off being my older sister's friend. Then somewhere along the line, her and I decided or rather just began, reflecting to each other more. We both have caring hearts. I went through a long suicidal phase in my teens, where I attempted a few times. She was there with me every step of the way. I truly love her on a scale that I don't feel for anyone else. About five years ago, her husband left her. I was there 4-5-6 days a week. I helped with the kids, I was a shoulder to cry on. Often nights I would carry her to her bed and tuck her in, only to sleep on the couch in case she woke and needed me. Eventually her husband decided he wanted to fix things and come back. This situation is why my sister and her stopped being so close. My sister told her to drop him, and move on. I told her "I don't like it. But I love you, and will stand behind any decision you make."

We've lost some distance since then. We don't talk as often, or long. I don't visit as much. She had another daughter, Ayanna. When my ex cheated on me though, she was there. She listened, she gave advice, she told me she loved me.

I spent this week holding it in, I hadn't gotten the chance to know Ayanna well. But I felt the pain my friend had.

I stepped into the church today and waited in the line of people wanting to give her and her husband a hug. I shook hands with him, and turned and watched her give my sister a half hug, like she had everyone else before me. But when she turned to me, her eyes welled up and she wrapped her arms around me, squeezed and sobbed for a second. I always thought that her and my friendship would fade with time, but in that instant I knew that her and I would be friends forever. The tears started falling from my eyes as I hugged her, and all I could say was "I love you, honey. I love you so much."

What do you tell your best friend of 12 years when her daughter, her TWO YEAR OLD DAUGHTER dies? I composed myself and we let go. After the service I gave her another hug, and told her and her husband and their three remaining daughters that I love them. That I would call them after Thanksgiving - which I have every intention of doing. I intend to see them more often. I wish I could have known their daughter better.

I've been home for a few hours now, and I've cried quite a bit. I am not ashamed to say it. Even though I didn't know Ayanna well, I know her mother. I love her mother more than anyone in the world, and that is why I cry. For her, for the father, the sisters and all the rest of the family. I know your pain.

I don't know when my next post will be, so sorry about that. But at least now you know why it has been awhile.

Thoughtful Consideration - Follow Up

2009-11-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

This is part 1 of a 2 part follow up. I am getting this up, so Mike will shut up, LOL. OK, back to business.

First off, I want to apologize for how long it has taken me to get this up. I am still working through my emotional stresses, but I feel like it is time to get the ball rolling again. Today's post is in reply to a previous post I made (Thoughtful Consideration).

I received an e-mail questioning "Thoughtful Consideration." More like a friendly challenge from Follow the Leader. I went back over and read my post again, and realized some thing I worded wrongly.

I did not mean that music and movies were the only bridge to get to non-believers, as Mike pointed out to me via e-mail, gas stations, grocery stores etc etc, are all places we can do this at. Mike is my friend that only listens to Christian music (and as I just learned, doesn't go to the movies anymore).

He also brought forth something that I should have put in my post, but didn't; Words alone mean nothing. If you are not walking the walk, your words will have no standing. Something that all Christians need to remember.

Oddly enough, my pastor Dave (shadowinggod.blogspot.com) was working on a series at church that addressed this a little bit - okay, MORE than a little bit.

Now, I completely understand where people come from when they think that they should completely abstain from all things coming from the world. The world is sinful in nature, it is corrupt. Mankind has done this to the world, via the original sin of Adam & Eve.

But if we look closely at Jesus' ministry we see something - He was born to the world, not being from it. Yet He still chose to live in it. He didn't stay off to the side and watch, letting people come to Him (although some would have). He jumped right in. He went up to the leaders, both political and religious, and "got in their faces" as it were. He came INTO the world to save sinners.

Also take a look at John the Baptist. His mother fled when he was a child to keep him from being killed. John was raised with a group of religious monks that completely abstained from the world. They were the strictest of the strictest. If you look this over, you see that these were the ones that had baptismal pools in every room. So that they would baptize themselves as they went in every room as a symbol and reminder to keep themselves clean before God. This is how John was raised. And he was one of the more extreme ones. But if you continue to read, you find out that he saw that he would be more useful in the world, bringing people to the truth.

Thoughtful Consideration

2009-11-05T10:14:00.000-05:00

A friend and I were talking, while I was reading his blog (Follow the Leader), and it made me think. This guy is absolutely right. How we form out thoughts, will form our actions. We need to constantly work to form our thoughts in a Christ-like way.

My friend has found a way for this to work for him. He doesn't listen/watch anything that won't bring him closer to Christ. He watches Mars Hill videos and listens to Christian music. This works for him.

I have another friend that plays shooting/rpg games, listens to all types of music, and has made "Hooray for Sarcasm" our theme in study groups. This works for him.

Two very distinct styles, but two people that are very firm with their walk with Christ, even when they don't always feel like it.

So I had to ask myself, what works for Jay? I have a generally sarcastic nature, but I can't let it run rampant, because... well... I let it get carried away. I can handle listening to Christian music, but if I listen to only that type of music, watch only those type of shows, I feel like I have entered a ritualistic state of life, and that I've lost the meaning behind what I am doing. Not to mention I feel that a little interaction with the rest of the world is required. How are we expected to show non-believers the way, if we can't even connect the foot bridge?

So I gave this some careful thought, and since my blog was in desperate need of an update, I have put it here.

So what works for me? I still enjoy sarcasm, it makes my day. But I have to stop and think before hand, to make sure that I haven't stepped over the line. I listen to Christian music, but usually only what I constitute as good ;) I watch Mars Hill videos. They are a great learning source when I can't attend Westwinds (either because I am out of town, or they aren't offering a service at 2:30 am)

I need the middle ground. But it isn't exactly the middle. I know a few of you will read this and say "But Jay, Christ tells us it is better to be hot or cold, that it is horrible to be lukewarm." I know this, and I must explain myself better.

My faith is not lukewarm. I will talk to anyone about it, in fact I often do. I share the gospel whenever I can. I try to radiate Christ in my life. But I don't see watching some slap-stick comedy as detrimental to that. Sure, since I was saved there have been some movies of mine that haven't been viewed. Because I don't think them acceptable, but there are still plenty that I find okay.

I lost my train of thought, so I shall end this post. Like always, feel free to e-mail me your questions and comments @ crosssketch@gmail.com

And please mention whether or not I can post your e-mail in the message.

First thoughts on The Centre

2009-10-20T11:10:00.000-04:00

This will be a rather short post, just something to get me back in the swing of things while I think about the other post I want to push out today -

I missed the first week (or two) of The Centre, because of work . . . . but I am getting ahead of myself. "What is The Centre?" you ask? The Centre is the name of the new Wednesday night service at Westwinds (the church I attend). There, now you know.

Well, I attended this past Wednesday, and I was floored. It was so much more of a personal experience than anything I've experienced on a Sunday service. And Dave had a fervor that was just pushing through.

All in all, if you have the time, I would HIGHLY recommend attending The Centre.

Update

2009-10-20T01:10:00.000-04:00

It is a great thing when people send me e-mails telling me how they have read my blog and were touched by it, how they enjoyed it, etc etc. But it is something completely different when people you know, outside of the internet, tell you so.

I recently joined a small group (known as a satellite at my church and from here on out). The leader of this group, whose name I shall not post without his consent, and I were talking after the group and he told me how he liked reading my blog. It kinda just hit me.

This update is just that, and update. I will be working on hashing out at least one new post on Tuesday Oct 20th (I realize that is today, but seeing as I haven't gone to bed yet, it is still tomorrow).

I am not too sure what it will entail, but I have a good feeling it will be about The Centre (the new Wednesday service we have at the Winds).

There very well may be more than one. So please, check back soon and let's catch up. I will be expecting those e-mails again soon. Encase you don't have it, that e-mail is crosssketch@gmail.com

Thanks for reading!
Jay

Questions and comments

2009-07-07T21:49:00.000-04:00

I find it exhilarating to talk to people about my faith. Yahweh has called us to do so, after all.

So I am posting this for a specific reason: If you have any questions or comments, please feel completely free to e-mail them to me at crosssketch@gmail.com

Whether it be questions on my theological views to questions regarding the bible. Or comments of any sort.

How do I prove...?

2009-07-07T15:34:00.000-04:00

Awhile back, an agnostic friend of mine asked me "How can you prove the presence of God/Jesus/Holy Spirit without using the bible?"

The first thing that came to my mind, and my lips was "They have proven, with historical facts, that Jesus existed."

"Okay," she continued "Then what about God and the Holy Spirit?"

I sat there for a minute, thinking. How could I describe something like this, to someone who didn't believe? Before I even realized it, I was speaking:

"You know that chill that runs up your spine? Not the normal one that makes you shake, but the one that makes the hair stand up as it travels. The one that spreads UP your spine, but also OUT from your spine covering your entire body. I only feel that when I am basking in the glory of God and His Holy Spirit."

Her jaw dropped. After laughing and asking her why she was in shock she said, "I asked another Christian friend that same question, he said almost the exact same thing."

This hit her hard. She still isn't a Christian, but she has begun to look into it a little. It amazed me, two people who had never spoken before, told her the same thing. Almost word for word. That is also proof of God and His Holy Spirit.

People will have hard times. It's a given with life. But how you handle these times is completely proportionate to the level of your faith, and your closeness with Jesus. When bad things happen, do you praise God still? Do you spend time alone with Him? Asking for guidance and wisdom?

Or do you curse Him? Do you blame Him?

For those of you who do, sit back and think for a moment. Why do you blame Him? Did He lead this travesty to happen? And even if He did, His ways of thinking are greater than ours! Think, He doesn't love me! And you are a lost fool.

God sent Jesus to earth. NOT FOR HIS OWN BENEFIT, but for yours, mine, ours. Jesus didn't have to die for God, no...He didn't even have to die. But He chose to, for US. He loves us so much that He died to save us.

"For greater love hath no man than this - to lay down his life for a friend."
God did this. He laid down His own life for me/you/us, a friend.

Spend some time with Him. I've been spending days with Him. He is opening my eyes to wondrous new things. I know He will continue!

Walking with Yahweh

2009-07-07T14:27:00.000-04:00

Most know, but for those who don't YHWH is the Hebrew translation for the name of God. Many have since called Him Yahweh.

Since I was saved back in April, I have been trying to do anything I can to strengthen my relationship with Yahweh. I attend a wonderful church, full of wonderful people. One thing that as bothered me about the church is that a)there isn't a Wednesday service and b) our satellites (as we call them) didn't have a very wide dynamic of bible studies. This was addressed last night in Love Shack (to be named as Hive Mind from now on). John and Dave have decided that while it will tax them greatly to perform a Wednesday service, they are willing to give it a try in October. Needless to say, many of us are very excited.

Becky then addressed the Bible study satellites. Once again, very excited!

This made me think about my own walk with Jesus. Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? I read my bible every day...or close to. I spend considerable amounts of time in worship, and in fellowship. But I felt like I wasn't listening to Jesus enough.

I have a new away message on AIM it reads as follows:
If you are reading this message, there is a good reason for it. I am spending some much needed time alone with Christ. I may not be back for a few days, maybe longer, maybe less. He has called me to Him, and I must obey. Either leave a msg here, or on the cell and I will get back to you when He tells me I am allowed.

I've had a few people question me about this: "What do you mean when He tells you?"
I mean simply that. When Christ says: "You've spent much time with me. It is time to spend a little time with the world." I will then spend a little more time with them.

For the past few days He hasn't given me the okay. He has told me "You are working well. But now isn't the time. Soon."

Who am I to argue? It's something that I have always struggled with - learning from others. I have always been one of the people who had to learn "the hard way." Or rather, I had to make the mistake myself. For some reason I always thought I was the exception to the rule. I'm beginning to learn...I am not the exception, but the rule.

My walk with Christ has been very powerful for the last week or so. I feel closer. I was performing some interviews at the church, and one of the questions on the application says "Please describe your relationship with Jesus Christ." One of the applicants posted something so simple, but something that I know wish to use with my own. He said "We're tight!"

Isn't that something we should all strive for? A relationship with Christ that is so close there is no better way to put it than "We're tight!" ? I laughed when I first read it. I thought it was cute. Now I feel the same way. I have placed myself in His hands, and He hasn't turned away from me. He has given me this opportunity to grow closer to him, thankfully I am taking full advantage of it.

So as I conclude this blog, I leave you with a couple of questions 1)How is your walk with Yahweh? 2) Describe your relationship with Jesus Christ

I've Called, Now I need to listen!

2009-07-06T14:01:00.000-04:00

A while ago I ended a 5 year long relationship. I loved her, and still do. When you are with someone that long, you become best friends. This happened for us. But what came with it was too much. We argued constantly, and during some of these arguments punches were thrown (note: I do not hit women, never have - and as long as I have control, I never will [note-note: Out of Anger. I do like to wrestle and do “love taps“]).

Back in April, I was saved. I found Christ, and haven’t really looked back since (You can read earlier posts if you would like to read about it). Up until this time, my ex and I were under the agreement that we would continue to try and work on things (We had broken up previously due to her being unfaithful). But after coming to Jesus I realized that the two of us couldn’t stay together. We didn’t share the same beliefs any longer, not to mention she had noe intention of living a “Christ Centered Life”. I read the bible, and while I do fall short a lot, I am trying extremely hard to follow His word. I told her then, that things were completely over; trying to explain to her.

Months have since passed, and I thought I was over my ex. Recently, I came in contact with a beautiful Christian woman that shared most, if not all of the same theological views I do. We began talking and after hearing of her past (how men had rebounded to her) I began to think about it.

I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t quite over my ex yet. From her calling me still, to my mother making ALL of my life her(mothers) business, I was still having a hard time getting over the end of this long relationship. I talked the Christian gal and explained that I didn’t want to put her through this again, and that I was going to need some time before I was ready to pursue a new relationship.

She understood and accepted in a Christ-like way. But I still can’t but feel like a jerk. Not only to her, but to me. I feel like I should be over this relationship by now, no excuses.

So I continue to pray and work this out, relying on God to help me.

And call upon me in your day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me. -Psalm 50:15

Well, I’ve called. Now I just need to listen!

The Proposal Review

2009-06-22T01:08:00.000-04:00

I was recently dragged to see The Proposal starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. OK, dragged is a bad word. I am actually a HUGE fan of Ryan Reynolds, so my going was pretty much a given. I went to the movie with my girlfriend, because – let's face it, no self-respecting guy can see a chick flick without a chick, right?

The story line is something that has been done before, in the most rounded terms. Boy and girl hate each other, then get to know each other, then fall in love.

I must admit, I have never been much of a Sandra Bullock fan. While I must give her credit that her acting is very well done in her movies, I am just not much of a fan for those types of movies. On with the review -

The movie starts off with Andrew (Reynolds) working for Margaret (Bullock). Margaret is a extremely successful, yet very mean editor for a large publishing company. Andrew is her mild voiced, attached at the hip assistant.

While Margaret has everything else in her life under control, she didn’t take the time to get her immigration paperwork turned in, causing her to be on the verge of being deported. Not accepting to head back to Canada without a fight, Margaret has a flash of genius when the always-dependable Andrew walks through the door. Announcing that she and Andrew are getting married, her boss simply tells her to “make it legal,” and Margaret and Andrew immediately start hashing out the details of their upcoming pretend marriage.

I will end the goings on of this movie as to prevent spoilers. I must say that going into this movie, expecting a 2-3 on my scale, I was pleasantly surprised with a 7. While this moving isn't the coolest thing since sliced bread, it is still worth the see!

Points of interest:

There are numerous usages of swearing, even taking the Lord's name in vain. While there is slight nudity, there is nothing that is too extreme. Granny Annie, does perform a Native Indian dance within the movie, but it is meant for comedic purposes and this is evident.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Quick Update

2009-06-21T11:35:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to get a quick update out. I will be posting a few new blogs over the next month. More in depth and a little longer. Hopefully will be good reads.

"The Shack"

2009-06-16T18:48:00.001-04:00

I have finally finished reading The Shack. I gotta call it for what it is. A good piece of FICTIONAL work. If you have read/plan to read this book, you must understand this. I have had too many people think it is a true story, which it is not.

Next, the theology. I don't have a lot of time to go into this right now, but I will link a video on youtube that I think sums this up quite well. I will try to prepare more information and get back to this at a later date.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK65Jfny70Y

First...and then...

2009-05-28T20:44:00.000-04:00

First Westwinds was featured in an article in the TIMES magazine (released to shelves this week, check it out!)

Now we are in the Jackson Citizen Patriot (our local paper) here's the article:

Jackson church's use of Twitter featured in Time magazine
by Caitlin Schneider | Jackson Citizen Patriot
Wednesday May 27, 2009, 7:31 AM

If you are new to Twitter and worried about the basics of tweet etiquette, fear not. God is on your side.

Jackson's Westwinds Church, 1000 Robinson Road, was featured in Time magazine earlier this month in an article about the new trend of Twittering in church.

According to the magazine, church leaders across the country have begun employing the social-networking tool to make Sunday services more enjoyable and facilitate pew-to-pew (and peer-to-peer) connections via technology.

Westwinds pastors John Voelz and David McDonald said in the magazine they have about 150 Twitter users in their 900-adult member church.

Tweets can be about anything, and on "Twitter Sundays" the messages are broadcast on a large video screens in the church.

God's Workings

2009-05-28T20:27:00.000-04:00

I was exhausted last night when I finally made it home. I helped out at Westwinds (the church I attend) most of the day and then helped a friend clean part of her new house afterward. I slept like a baby.

Today I began cleaning my apartment and got a call from JVo asking me to come into the church and help move some stuff. His voice mail said "some G.I. Joe type stuff". I couldn't help but laugh at it. But hey, that's the kind of guy JVo is. I went, I moved - I got asked to do some more stuff. I did, without care.

I was reading Max Lucado's Cure to the Common Life. My sister had me borrow it to read. It was talking about how if we bring Jesus with us to work, and work as if He is our boss, it shows. Today I realized it does. I go help out with friends or at church and not only do I really enjoy myself, I feel rewarded! Not just that I did something good for them, it feels good for me.

I seriously enjoy helping at the church. I wish there was an open position there, I would LOVE to have a job there.

My point in all this is that "We need to take Jesus to work with us. Let Him be our boss, and stop long enough to notice He really is there with us."

God Bless!

May God's light brighten your path, and His love carry you home!

I Will Move the Rock

2009-05-26T21:57:00.000-04:00

The following is not a work of my own. I found it on a Christian forum, and wanted to share it with others. The forums (if you choose to visit them) are http://www.crosswalk.com

I Will Move The Rock

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's mind such as: "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it."

Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure, these thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man even more. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough."

And that he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

To this the Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewed and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done.

"I, my friend, will now move the rock."

At times when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what he wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in him...

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but it is still God who moves the mountains.

God, You call us to obedience everyday. Sometimes, I want to see beyond obedience. I want to know why, how and when. Yet, it is usually long after the obedience that I begin to realize what Your plan was back then. So help me just be obedient for today. I am learning, Lord that by being obedient today, I am stronger for tomorrow. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

My Challenge of James

2009-05-26T21:18:00.001-04:00

I posted yesterday a challenge to any willing to accept it. To read the entire book of James within one week. Preferably twice (it is a short book). Then to write down the scriptures that call out your short comings. Every time you feel yourself giving in to those short comings, read the scriptures you've written.

A light recap of what James addresses, might be useful here. In the basic idea - James is telling how to act like a Christian.

Dealing with "Trials and Temptations/Listening and Doing/Favoritism Forbidden/Faith and Deeds/Taming the Tongue/Two Kinds of Wisdom/Submit Yourselves to God/Boasting About Tomorrow/Patience in Suffering" (As taken from the Headings of the NIV Study Bible) One thing I like about James, is that he cuts through the brush and gets straight to the point.

I can't ask others to do this challenge, unless I am willing to do it myself. I finished James last night, and I will be reading it again this week.

The first verse I wrote down?

James 1:19
19. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20. for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

This struck me hard. I often have the problem of letting my anger build quickly, then "blowing up". It is something that I have been working on, and getting much better at, but I know I still fall incredibly short of doing what these two verses say.

James 1:26
26. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Another spot that I fall horribly short. I am one of those people that enjoys sarcastic witty comments. Sometimes they get the better of me, and my tongue runs lose.

James 3:17-18
17. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

This isn't necessarily something that I fall short on. But more along the lines of something that helps me to control my tongue. Reading these scriptures helps me to realize that I must think out everything I want to say, BEFORE I say it.

James 4: 13-17 (not posted)
I have chosen not to post these scriptures, but to explain why I chose them anyways. I can remember myself, recently even, boasting about things. Paychecks, cars, volunteer work. Things that I have no right to boast about. I have to remember "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

James Chapter 5 (not posted)

Patience. That is the larger part of this chapter. Oh how I wish I had more. I will be reading this chapter numerous times through my life, I am sure. Just to gain the patience that I need. Whether it being behind a slow driver, or waiting for the weekend. Even waiting for Christ's coming, I need to be patient.

For those of you that have taken this challenge, or are planning to: Fantastic. It helped me open my eyes to the things that fall short on. I know there are many more, not included in the book of James, but I feel this is a good starting point.

In His name, Shalom

Being Baptized

2009-05-26T21:17:00.002-04:00

I know that people will argue whether or not baptism has any spiritual effect. I believe that it is a public declaration of what you've already done (accepted Christ into your heart).

I was baptized today at the church I've been attending for a few months. Let me give a little back story: I attended a couple of times with my sister, and each time I felt called out. I knew God was talking to me personally through the service. By the sermon itself and the music that was being sung. I went home and cried. I refused to go again for a few months, feeling guilty about all the things I wasn't ready to give up yet. My sister kept talking to me, pleading with me to go with her. She got baptized in Feb and I resented her for it. Who was she to beg me to come to church? I was my own person, I made my own decisions and didn't need this.

I went back for Easter Sunday. Once again, I was called out before my family and friends. I kept attending. I feel every Sunday like God is speaking to me. I feel his Spirit working in me. There was a sermon a few weeks ago about the regular baptism. I started crying in the middle of the service, and signed up.

Today, I sat next to the hot tub (they use a hot tub because it fits into our church easily) and began getting incredibly nervous. Was I making the right decision? How could I be sure? The sermon was about "Paying Attention". So I did. And once again God spoke to me through the music. We heard a song about God being there for us, no matter what and it said "Even when you doubt yourself". I started crying even before I got up to get baptized.

Now, our church family is by far the nicest I have ever met. The pastor who was baptizing me, his name is JVo. I had been talking to him on twitter for a few weeks, but hadn't introduced myself to him until today. When I stepped into the water and knelt down, I could feel the weight of all of my sins sinking in with me, weighing me down. JVo said his words and dunked me back. Now, I have to take this time to explain to you all a little more. I am 6'4 and about 300 lbs. Not a small guy, JVo isn't as big as me - lol. He dunked be down, but I had to arch my back to get my head under. While arching, JVo lost his footing and pulled my hand away from my nose. (He fell quite a bit :D ) I just thought this was hilarious. Back to the point. When I came back out of the water - I was new. I was filled with something I had never completely felt before. And I know why - I hadn't fully believed I was giving myself to God until that moment. I felt the water running off of me, my sins slipping with it. I breathed in new air (my nose having been cleaned by burning water) and felt God embrace me. I could hear "You are mine. I made you, and I choose you!" As I came up.

I looked to JVo and shook his hand, pulling him into a hug. I was raised not to show emotion, men just don't do that where I am from. But I started crying. I had never felt so much love as I did right then. The room was cheering and clapping - and I could feel God right there with them, cheering me on too. JVo was hugging me, and I could feel God through that embrace.

I pulled away and looked at JVo, the man I had only met just today, but had made a bond with that would last my life. And I might be wrong, but he looked a little teared up too. And it hit me. This man, whom barely knew me was this touched by what I did. I got out of the tub and lost it. I was shaking hands, but quickly had to cover my face with my towel because I was crying. I finally composed myself and looked to my sister, she was crying too. My sister who has always told me: "You need to do something with yourself. You are so smart and have such potential but you won't follow through!" was crying for me, with happiness.

I sit here in my chair at my computer, fighting a battle with tears that I know I will lose. I seldom cry, and only ever over bad things. This is the first time that I can remember crying for something good.

I thank God for what He has given me. My life, my family, my friends, my salvation. I live to follow in Christ's footsteps and give Him my life, my love, my all.

Not everyone does - but I felt something coming out of that water.

For those that were involved, for those that cheered me on - came to the service they didn't normally attend (we have 3) - thank you for being a part of the biggest day of my life. For JVo, if you read this - thank you. You have no idea what today has done in me. The torch you lit, that I will allow God to fuel for the rest of my days. I can never thank you enough, but I feel you know all too well how I feel.

For those of you who actually read this, thank you! You've become apart of this day for me. By reading you show you care. Bless all of you who read this, in Christ Jesus' name - Amen!

Acts Chapter 9

2009-05-26T21:17:00.001-04:00

Please forgive, my reading for now is out of the NIV. I will be reading this again with my trusty KJV tonight, but wanted to get this up sooner than that.

Acts Chapter 9 opens with a look at Saul. It gives us a small visual to show that he is still prejudice against Christians, and has a death wish for them all. He begins his travels to head to Damascus, but is waylaid before he can make it there.

3. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him.

4. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"

5. "Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked. "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied.

6. "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

Now, once this was finished, Saul was blinded. He was taken to Damascus, where Ananias healed his sight to him. But if you pay attention, you will notice the reluctance from Ananias. But Christ answered his reluctance with the command to do it. If you read you can see where while Ananias is healing Saul, he says "Brother". A big thing to say to a man that days earlier was voicing his murderous intents for you.

Most of us know the conversion of Saul (later known as Paul). We know that he was one of the most judgmental of people against Christ. But we also know that he became one of the most faithful, powerful followers.

Now, with a little refresher (preceding) I wanted to talk about how I feel about this. It makes me joyous. Look at the love and forgiveness that God bestows upon us. Especially since we are so undeserving. When Paul first started out, he was on a murderous rampage against all that followed Christ. That is no small feat to over look. But God called down that Paul would be shown the truth, that he would be shown "how much he must suffer". And because he was willing to open his eyes to the light, God rewarded him greatly.

I am a member on many different Christian based forums. I see constantly, new believers or even non-believers saying "I have lived so badly. Jesus would never forgive me for what I've done." What better way to show these people the never ending love and forgiveness that Christ has shown? A man that had it in his mind to wipe out all Christians, who was working towards that goal, was forgiven and rewarded. Becoming a Christian himself.

I think this is a good way to bring new believers in. Yes, we all know the ultimate show of love and forgiveness is Christ's crucifixion. But new people (at least I did at first) have a hard time grasping what that fully means. If we show them how Christ is willing to do this for someone that was hunting his followers, imagine the impact it will have on them when we spend a little more time discussing the significance of his death.

Getting Baptized

2009-05-26T21:16:00.002-04:00

I have been attending a new church for about the last month, and have been getting incredibly serious into studying the bible and following Christ over the last few months. My pastor was talking about baptism today, and I have been reading up on it. I really think it is the next step.

I asked my sister (who was baptized in Feb) and she said that if I believed I was ready to walk with Christ, I should do it.

Both my parents told me I shouldn't. Now, I realize this is a personal decision for me, but I still listen carefully to what they say. My mother is studying to be a Jehovah's Witness, and sees baptism as something to do with the church, not for what it really is (the public announcement of following Christ, and more importantly a resurrection). My dad just told me that he thinks I should think about it a little more before I jump into it, that it is a big decision and not something you can turn back from. (The baptism is on May 17th)

My parent's opinion was just kind of stopping, making me question myself. So I went back to my sister and her boyfriend and asked them. They both said (basically) that this is my decision, not my parents.

I just felt like posting this, to try and work it out in my head a little more. I plan on thinking about this more deeply, but I am at that point where I know this step will DEFINITELY help me to grow with Christ, and I understand that is a command from Him.

Either way, at this point I am signing up for the baptism on the 17th.

God Bless all!

Two Weeks on the Life & Teaching of Jesus Christ

2009-05-26T21:16:00.001-04:00

April 22, 2009

Greetings to all,

Today was day nine of a fourteen day study on the Life and Teachings of Jesus. I awoke, around 7:30 a.m. (like I have mysteriously been doing for a couple of weeks now) and did my morning rituals to wake myself up. I let the dog out, got a drink from the fridge, fed & watered the dog and then sat down to do my daily reading.

Today's reading was John 14. I read through it first, with my NIV. Sometimes the KJV can be a little hard to understand, so I start with the NIV so I have a better idea. I sat and thought for a few moments, then I continued to reread the same chapter out of the KJV, words of Christ in Red, that I own.

While I was meditating over what I had read, I began to think very much so on just how important the crucifixion and resurrection were. I sometimes get lost in the mundane day - to - day, and lose sight of just what the crucifixion and resurrection meant. How much God loves us that He went through more than most of us ever would, so that we would have a chance to spend eternity in His Grace.

John chapter 14 also mentions Thomas. The disciple that questions. His questioning Christ, in a respectful manor, gave me a little insight. I need to question things a little more in depth. When I don't understand why God has done something, it is okay to ask. Respect those actions, do not question negatively, have faith. But it is still okay to want to understand why something happened. But we must remember, the Lord has told us "My way of thinking is greater than yours." And we need to understand somethings will never make sense to us.

April 19, 2009

2009-05-26T21:14:00.000-04:00

Today was a good day. Church was wonderful. We are doing a 5 week segment on "Dying for a Fix", and every time I attend service I know God is talking to me. It is a wonderful feeling to know that He cares that deeply for me.

I then had dinner with my sister and her boys, another great night. Only to be spoiled by my falling short with my temper. My father and I don't get along on a regular basis, even though we have both been trying greatly. My father is a wonderful man that spent the first 16 years of my life working a second shift job to support our family. The only problem is that we both have short fuses ;).

While we have both been working on them, days arise that are just tougher than others - and today was one of them. I fell horribly short in disrespecting my father this evening. But after the argument was over, I calmed down; went to my bible and prayed. We sat down and worked things out, admitting we were both at fault and things could have/should have been handled better.

I thank God for giving me the wisdom to go back and apologize, the wisdom to understand my faults. I pray he gives me the strength, and the patience to do better than I do now. I will keep walking this path with Him, knowing He shall never abandon me. He has done His part, now I must do mine.

Information...al

2009-05-26T21:12:00.000-04:00

Just throwing this out there that I am going to transfer all of my blogs from ChristianFriend (a great Christian Community site that you should check out, mind you) to here. Therefore there will be quite a few added today. I will in NO way be able to add that many on a regular basis.